Sometimes as I guy, I don't want to talk or engage. Because, at the end of the day, honestly, i'm tired. I'm not sure about most guys, but if you're anything like me, I process my thoughts inside my mind. I'm not one to process out loud, which is my wife's modus operandi.

When we first got married, I would pick her up after work and already be listening to music. It was the way I decompressed. It didn't take long for her to let me know that she felt like I didn't care. Because, instead of talking to her after work, I wanted to jam to some RUSH.

To this day, when we have been apart, she will want to discuss what has been on her mind. In addition, she wants me to engage.

I have learned that engaging is actually the most efficient way to deal with things. If I didn't, she would continue to be in her head, making up stories about what I am thinking and question my care for her.

I don't know if most guys are stoic in their personalities, but I'm an introvert in my processing. I need to mull it over. However, my inclination to not engage, has gotten me into more than a few messes.

It's interesting that in His instruction, YHWH addresses this. And it becomes clear that as husbands, we can't remain silent, (though I would love to sometimes).

In Numbers 30 verses 1- 16 we are given instruction on vows.

The first part, verses 1&2, instructs men to make good on what they have said they will do for YHWH or for others. This is easy to understand.

But in verses 3 through 16, we are given instruction when our daughters and wives make vows and promises.

It would be good for you to read these verses yourself. The synopsis is this:

If a daughter makes a vow, in the day the father hears it, he is responsible for that vow or promise. Note this is time dependent.

Now there are two directions he can go. One, if the father is silent, the vow or promise stands. The second direction is if he refuses. In this case the vow is nullified and does not stand.

YHWH goes ahead and addresses vows and promises made by a wife. The same instruction applies. The day the husband hears of his wife's promise or vow,

1. Husband, silent, vow stands.

2. Husband speaks against the promise, vow is nullified.

That's why I named this letter, “You only have until sundown”. Because the father only has until the end of the day he hears it, to make a decision. Will it stand or will it be nullified.

If your are reading this scripture for the first time, this might surprise you. But this follows the same spirit of instruction as when Paul states in

2 Corinthians 13:1

This is the third time I am coming to you. At the mouth of two witnesses or three shall every word be established.

Paul, didn't make this law up. It was already firmly established by our Heavenly Father.

Yehushua the Messiah, in Matthew 18:15&16, speaking on church discipline states.

15 And if thy brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone: if he hears you, you have gained thy brother. 16 But if he hears you not, take with you one or two more, that at the mouth of two witnesses or three every word may be established.

In Deuteronomy 19:15

YHWH states.......

15 One witness shall not rise up against a man for any iniquity, or for any sin, in any sin that he sins: at the mouth of two witnesses, or at the mouth of three witnesses, shall a matter be established.

Why is this important to you. As the husband, and head of the family you are the one that establishes a matter in your family.Either by confirming or by remaining silent.

When you make your wishes known and another family member confirms what you say, the matter is established.

When you remain silent, your silence is testimony, and confirms whatever was said prior.

How does this work out in every day life.

Let’s imagine you have a daughter. When your daughter startsto go through puberty, their view of themselves is questionable. They may say something to the effect. “I am not very pretty. I'm fat, (read, unattractive).”

As dad, you can remain silent and confirm her fears. And as much as the world around her is concerned, you have confirmed, she is fat, and unattractive. Her negative words stand, because as dad, you did not nullify her words.

Instead, you have the super power of righting wrongs and making that which is untrue fall to the ground. You have the power to say to your precious daughter,

“That's not true, you are gorgeous, and some young man in the future will be so blessed to have you as his beautiful, stunning bride.”

This role and responsibility can be used even if the negativity is directed toward you.

“I hate you!” hisses from your daughters lips.

You can remain silent and let what she has said, stand.

Or you can say

“I know that you are angry, but it is not true that you hate me or your mom. What is is true is that this situation is very difficult and it brings out emotions that can be hurtful. What is true, is that I love you, and I know you love me also. It's going to be okay. We will get through this together.”

What is important to remember, is that, you as dad and husband, are the only person that can hold up or nullify what is said and done in your house.