I cleaned off my desk but I can’t seem to throw away a simple post it note.

Someone posed this very question to me and it made me stop in my tracks. For some reason it resonated with me. It wasn't that I was a pathological liar or irresponsible, but I knew I was frustrated in my life. Especially when I wanted to do something, wanted to make a change, but deep down, I couldn't trust myself to follow through or hold the line.

Maybe because other responsibilities took precedent. Maybe because I was lazy. I'm not sure. Did I still have the fight in me, or was I at the point in my life where I was going to lay down and let life kick me.

I wrote on this post-it the words that just wouldn't leave my mind. The implications were immense. But how was I suppose to answer the question? If I answered no. I was admitting to myself, I had given up. If I answered yes, where was the proof? Where could I show myself that my words did have meaning and weren't just puffs of air and meaningless?

That fact is I didn't want to answer at all. I was at a crossroads, and needed to make the decision which way I was going to go. Would I be honest with myself?Would I put this decision off because it made me uncomfortable? Would I make excuses? None of these options seemed to clear my head. The only option left was to test it. Could my words have meaning or not? I needed to find out.

I remember I wanted to get off of diet coke. I remember I was so addicted. So much so, that I would leave my house, drive 3 miles away to the closest McDonalds and order a large diet coke. I would do this almost every day, and sometimes twice. The diet coke wasn't making me thinner or more healthy, it was just addictive as could be.

So what was going to help me win and get this out of my life? I decide to substitute real coke for diet coke. I said to myself, “When I feel this craving to go get a diet coke, I will order a real coke instead.”

Stick with me, I know real coke isn't any better for my health, but for some reason, I thought this would give me the decision making power I needed.

So the next time I went through the drive through, I said the word, “I would like a large coke with light ice. Thank you.”

This went on for about a month. But something interesting happened. I wasn't getting up off the couch, getting my keys and driving to McDonalds just to get a coke. I would get one if I was out, but it didn't present the same cravings. I was intrigued.

Was there something to this, choosing one thing over the other? Choosing it consistently, over time? I wondered, “Could I do this again, but instead, make the choice for something that would push me forward, or at least not have me go backward?”

I decided to test it. I decided, that when I was craving a large coke with light ice from McDonalds, I would instead buy a cold San Pellegrino, and drink that. Something that had a lot of fizz, but not the high fructose corn syrup.

What happened astonished me. It worked. Every time I had a craving for coke, I would get a San Pellegrino I was amazed that it satisfied me and satiated the craving I had for coke.

I'm not writing this to discuss getting rid of addictive behaviors, even though it could be harnessed that way. The reason I am telling you this story is because, more than just getting rid of my diet coke addiction, it gave me a confidence that I was capable of changing my life, because I said so.

I found this super empowering. My words could actually have meaning. It told me that if I made a decision, I could follow through. Don't get me wrong. I follow through all the time, I keep my commitments to others. I show up on time to meetings. I am responsible, and my family and business depends on me.

But what I don't want you to miss is this. This subtle but powerful epiphany. I realized that I could keep commitments to myself, at will.

This is powerful. Because now I have the confidence, that I can bring things to fruition, by the brute force of me saying, “I will” …..and then conforming my actions to that end goal.

YHWH has given us the power to take dominion. And the first place we need to start is, ourselves. He has endowed us with this amazing power, but most of the time we refuse to use it. Using this power, doesn't take the Holy Spirit's role out of the equation. If fact, it is because we have been given His Spirit that we are able to accomplish this.

I've used this to start businesses. I have used this to conquer addictions. I have used this to strengthen relationships. Even you reading these words right now, is because of this.

Messiah stated it this way.

Matthew 5:37

But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.

Ask yourself “Do my words have any weight?” I do what my boss tells me. I keep my agreements to others. But do I keep the agreements I make to myself?

Where to start.

Start with keeping your word, to yourself. This may take up to 90 days to learn. But chart your progress. Keep at tally. Mark it down. Show yourself that you can keep your word. Don't underestimate the power of this.

Imagine for a moment, if you had confidence in your own words. So much that when you said, “I am going to do this.”, you knew it was a done thing. That decisions you make, actually come to fruition. That your words actually have weight. That the discipline of following through on what you said you were going to accomplish for yourself, actually came into being. As if it were a forgone conclusion. Like it was money in the bank.

What kind of super power would you possess?

At that point you would need to be careful, to guard what you say you are going to do. Because if you didn't, if you said willy nilly, “I am going to do this or that.”, you would be on the hook to accomplish that thing. So you would have to become very selective in what you say you are going to do, because of the weight of those words.

Let's start building confidence today.

But to start, we need wins. We need to stack the outcome in our favor. What do I mean by this? I mean that we need to find something simple that can be accomplished.

Now this seems counter intuitive, because we are trying to create a super power, and choosing something small and simple seems to defeat the purpose. But it doesn't.

Men much smarter than I, and with a lot more success at making things happen, corroborate this thinking. Lowering the bar to insure success, flips a switch in our head that says, “I can be trusted to win at this.”

How does it work?

Make a decision,

Lower the bar (to insure success),

write it down,

set a time limit,

and chart your progress.

As I was learning this, I realized the concept of smaller dominoes knocking down bigger ones.

Instead of deciding on working out 4 times a week, from not until eternity,

Lower the bar - workout once a week.

Time limit – one month.

Chart your progress, - calendar to mark on or make yourself a grid.

Set a appointment one month from now to review.

How did you do?

Missed one week. Okay start over.

Next month

How did you do? Made every week.

Okay do it again. Do not raise the bar.

Why Brandon? I made my goal.

What I have learned is that, it is more important to make small progress and hold the line, than to make seemingly more progress, and falter.

Think about it this way, using the example above. Would you feel better and have more confidence with which scenario,

1. You told yourself, “I will work out once a week for 6 months and accomplish it.”

Versus,

2. “I will work out 4 times a week from now until some indeterminate date in the future and fail.”

Which one hits harder? 

For me, its the guy who says “I am working out once a week for 6 months.” The work out is not what we're going for. We are going for the fact that when we tell ourselves something, our heart and mind recognizes it as true. This is tremendously powerful.

So going back to our example.

Month 2 (tracking progress)

You did it. Now do it again.

Month 3 - Do it again.

Month 4 - Do it again.

What should be happening at this point is that when you say the words, “I am going to work out once a week.”, this statement should ring true and give you a strong sense of confidence.