Letter No. 1

When I almost lost my marriage, and how YHWH saved it, and me.

As I write this, my 31st year anniversary is coming up next week. Today my marriage is stronger, more intimate and hotter than ever. In fact, every week, it seems to become more of the relationship I dreamt of when I first got married. 

But my marriage has not been without trouble. And serious trouble to boot. 7 years into my marriage, (I’ll give you my take on why at 7 years this happened, in a later newsletter.) I was not at this place and had doubts in my mind if I had made the right decision in getting married and questioned if the woman I chose was the right one. 

I had become disillusioned with the whole thing. At night I would turn my back to my wife and try to go to sleep. I was mad, sad and confused to the reason of how I got here. Was I going to become a statistic? Would I fall into the, half of all marriages that end in divorce? What was going on? 

I had been in paid ministry for the previous 10 years and had moved to Nashville to start a coffee house. I had also become disillusioned with the paid ministry. I know, I was a mess and it sounds like I’m a victim. But, I don’t believe in victimhood and I knew that God had not brought me to this place, just to let me suffer and die. 

What I would come to realize in the next several months and years, would change the trajectory of my life for the good. 

If you are having trouble with life, marriage and/or business, it could be that you are in the place I was, before my eyes were opened. This dispatch is a record, a report in the real journey of walking with your God. The God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob, that made a way to walk with Him in covenant through the Anointed One, Yehushua the Messiah (Jesus Christ). 

I was desperately searching

I desperately was searching for answers and I was for sure, it was my wife’s fault. But as our merciful Heavenly Father would gently teach me, I realized that the lion share of the fault, lied with me. 

I remember silently crying out to God, “please save my marriage, if you are really there. If you really care about me and this marriage, Please save it. And, if you do, I promise to help other couples when they are in this spot.” I followed it up with “Give me new eyes for my wife, let me see her the way you see her.”

And He did just that. I don't remember if it was within the same hour I made my request, but I do remember when He changed my heart and let me see her with new eyes. I was behind her at church ( didn’t want to be next to her). It was while we were singing and I looked over at her and saw her. She was beautiful. She was innocent. And she was mine.

God broke me.

God broke me. And started me on the path of truly walking with Him. I was open to His voice and exploring things that, at the time didn’t make sense. 

What I soon realized was that the reason I had gotten here, was not because of haphazard consequences but because I had not realized that the Eternal, our Creator had set certain laws that govern human and divine relationships, and I was breaking them. 

Understanding these laws and rectifying my response to them, changed everything. God saved me and gently put me on the path to life. Praise YHWH 

To be continued…

JOURNAL ENTRY

When to lead and when not to lead.

This week I was on vacation with some great friends. I was able to reflect on how a year can change things. Looking back it feels like I’m heading in then right direction. I was able to delegate or step out of, two major roles of leadership. I know on the surface this looks like a backwards move, but in the long game this is a great thing. 

You will find as you start to walk in the ways of God, start to obey His voice on the little things, you will be be looked to, lead. You may agree to take the role, but remember it may not be a permanent thing, but a needed thing, until the situation stabilizes. 

Men walking with the Creator always become leaders. Your job is not to jump at every opportunity of taking the reins, but use discretion and wisdom, in what roles you need to take on. 

At a certain point I became worn out and not as effective. Reflecting on my major, un-delegatable responsibilities, I realized it was time to step down and double down on what my Heavenly Father had called me to do. It wasn’t failure. It was right thinking. 

To be totally transparent, I think sometimes we take on certain challenges because we are unwilling to conquer the situations around us, for fear of not being capable. 

For example, we might opt to throw all our effort into our business, and neglect troubles in our marriage, because leading in business is in our wheel house, while we haven’t acquired the skills of leading and communicating with our wife. 

This isn’t leading, this is running from the battle.

LETTER NO. 1 - CONTINUED

Are you in the same place?

If you are having trouble with life, marriage and/or business, it could be that you are in the place I was, before my eyes were opened. This dispatch is a record, a report in the real journey of walking with your God, the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob, that made a way to walk with Him in covenant through the Anointed One, Yehushua the Messiah (Jesus Christ). 

Brandon

UPCOMING

Next Week…

▶ The first thing YHWH (God) challenged me with .

▶ Something to consider: Leviticus 18:19